When tomorrow never comes

Words by Debbie Hathway

November is a bittersweet time of year. I get the usual yearning to return to Mauritius (my body knows when it’s time to recharge), but it’s also a special time to experience paradise island when the sun coaxes inconceivable shades of blue from the ocean, and the “flamboyant” trees are full of brilliant red flowers.

16 November 2016 was the first time I visited Mauritius in the summer. It was a long weekend break made possible by sponsored flights through Air Mauritius. My mom had been fighting cancer for too long, having beaten it once before, and I needed a boost to get me through the next phase.

However, that weekend was the beginning of the end of my mother’s life. Had I known that was imminent, I would never have gone. I was in denial, firmly believing she would turn the corner. I returned to Cape Town that Sunday morning. She passed away that night. My father and I were with her.

So, when I get the social media reminders of my time there, those memories come flooding back and with them, the learning. I was at work the day after she passed, sending a magazine to print because there was nobody else to do it. I was retrenched a few weeks later.

Breaking old patterns

It took me years of soul-searching to accept that I could not look to others for praise, reward, or recognition for my effort, no matter how many times I burned out trying to prove I was worthy of the role or task at hand – a pattern I followed to my detriment for most of my career. I had to find that value for myself with help from peers, friends, and even strangers who connected with me and my work through social media. Seeing my writing through their eyes eventually changed my perception of myself and my skill. As a writer, one is constantly plagued with self-doubt, worrying about whether a story will be accepted and approved by an editor, and if the readers will like it. The thrill (and relief) of a figurative thumbs-up never gets old.

For me, Mauritius has always been a restorative space, which kick-started my healing long before I knew I needed help. My writings are not just another Mauritius travel story (I write about island property investment, medical tourism, and music, too) – each episode reveals something life-changing, and I’m grateful to all those editors who have encouraged me to write from the heart and been open to sharing those stories, as well as my hosts and their PR teams who have enabled me to alert others to the special people and places out there.

Opera under the stars

It started in earnest at One&Only Le Saint Géran where I had a very special introduction to Francesc Miralles and his Harmonia programme, and of course, “my band” – the Famous 9. There are many brilliant musicians on that island, but they got my attention the night we arrived, and I walked into that magnificent reception and heard opera – my mom’s favourite genre. They were singing something by The Three Tenors, and I’ve been a groupie ever since.

What is inextricably linked to my mother’s philosophy of life is LUX* Resorts and Hotels. Their mission is to help guests “celebrate life”, something my mom used to talk about ad nauseum. She was always on about wanting to “live” – long before she became ill – trying to break free of her challenges and limiting mindsets while teaching me how to do that for myself. She became the top-earning character model in Cape Town, after being discovered in her fifties.

Mauritius healing

I think the warmth, love, and appreciation of the locals, who delighted in my response to their world, changed me, as did the multitude of healing treatments I have enjoyed over the years at Shanti Maurice, Saint Géran, Shangri-La Le Touessrok, LUX* Belle Mare, LUX* Grand Gaube, SALT of Palmar, LUX* Le Morne, Beachcomber Dinarobin, Beachcomber Victoria, Anahita, Long Beach, and Ambre.

Life is all about balance. Learning never stops if you are open to introspection, awareness, and self-improvement, and I am forever grateful to my mom for introducing me to the healers on home soil who continue to help me navigate this path through life. I’m somewhere between my mom’s mantra: everything in moderation, and my dad’s Desiderata reference – “Go placidly amid the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence.”